One of my favourite celebrity profiles is a profile of Nicky Minaj for GQ. It is not because I love Nicki Minaj. I love the story behind the story. At the time GQ assigned the profile to freelance writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner, she was overloaded with other stories and also moving house. But this was the first profile she had ever been assigned, and it was GQ. It was her one shot, so she took it. Little did she know how long her one shot would take. Nicki Minaj wouldn’t agree to a set amount of time for the interview. Nor would she agree to a place to talk. Finally, she decided she would be interviewed by Brodesser-Akner at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn in between performances and fashion week appearances. The writer jumped on a plane, was driven to the Barclays Center, and directed into a hot room where she was instructed to wait. “I describe waiting for the Nicki Minaj interview as being next on an organ donation list,” she said in a Longform podcast episode one year after the profile was published. Eventually, the writer was directed to Minaj’s dressing room where the interview began. And what you discover after reading the first paragraph of the story, is that not long after Taffy Brodesser-Akner fired off her first question, Nicki Minaj fell asleep.
I have been thinking about this profile, because the philosopher Alain de Botton has had me thinking about our desire to find order in the chaos. And Nicki Minaj falling asleep, to me, represents the chaos. We’re all just trying to file the stories of our lives on time, and suddenly, a celebrity messes the entire thing up. In a podcast interview with the British author and broadcaster, Pandora Sykes, Alain de Botton explained that humans are “ordering animals”. Everything we contribute to or pay attention to - be it literature, science, or politics - is an attempt to create a sense of order in the chaos. We crave control just as we crave a sense of calm, yet our desire to control every part of our lives, all the time, is a delusion each one of us will eventually grapple with. “We should be aware of the cost and the impossibility of [trying to maintain control] in the long term,” said de Botton. “Despite our very best efforts to line everything up in a neat row, we will always be submerged, shattered, destroyed, and we have to be ready for that.” In other words, every now and then, Nicki Minaj will fall asleep on us.
Over the past decade, the image of work-life balance has been sold to us much like the dream of women having it all. Neither are wholly attainable. Women may be able to have it all, but not all at once; and we may be able to achieve balance in our lives, but not everyday. Knowing this, de Botton said, is the key to striking the right balance between keeping our lives in order and loosening the reins. “To expect that we will be balanced every day is generally an expectation too far,” he said. “Knowing that despite our best efforts, our next moment of crisis is only just around the corner, this is part of what a sane life requires.” In Daoism, a philosophical tradition that has shaped Chinese life for more than 2,000 years, the term Wu Wei is defined as the art of ‘non-doing’. This may sound like it encourages laziness, but it really encourages ‘effortless action’. The philosophical term is really about accepting - and surrendering to - the turbulence of life, and de Botton believes we should adopt the thinking of Wu Wei while seeking balance in our lives. Water is often referenced to describe the power of Wu Wei. It may seem fluid and weak, but through its own “gentle persistence”, water can gradually erode even the hardest and strongest materials. By adapting to our surroundings - much like water running over a rocky riverbed - we can often be more effective than if we blindly ignored them.
I write about the inevitability of chaos because we have reached that time of year where the sun is warmer, the days are longer, and the diaries have filled up. Most of us are juggling multiple commitments alongside a whimpering enthusiasm. If we’re not hobbling to the end of the year, we’re wondering how on earth we’re going to get everything done. This is a reminder, I suppose, that right now you may not feel a sense of order, but perhaps you’re not meant to. Maybe you can take hold of the chaos and run with it; embracing effortless action. Maybe you go with the current, instead of working against it, and perhaps you will surprise yourself along the way. When Nicki Minaj fell asleep in her dressing room at the Barclays Center, all Taffy Brodesser-Akner could think was, “You’re not blowing this for me”. She also thought it wasn’t Nicki Minaj’s job to make her story interesting. It was hers. So the writer took her one shot, returned to her hotel, and filed a story that was not about a lazy, terrible woman who fell asleep during an interview, but an extremely busy woman who was, quite simply, exhausted. “The point with [the Nicki Minaj story] is, you’d be tired too,” Brodesser-Akner said. “Nicki and I, we were tired. We were so tired.” Yet they both ran with the chaos, and did their jobs.
Some related (and unrelated) recommendations:
Obviously, this perfect GQ profile on Nicki Minaj.
I loved this piece on The New Yorker by Charles Duhigg about WeWork and the possibility of V.C. firms deforming capitalism. Duhigg's book, The Power of Habit, is also a great read.
The highlight of my week was discovering this new podcast by Rashida Jones and Bill Gates. The first two episodes, on our lives post-Covid and whether inequality is inevitable, are brilliant.
This feature on The Cut about the children of Quarantine was fascinating.
Harry Styles' Vogue cover story is also a really wonderful profile. He happens to mention his love for Alain de Botton.
If you want to know more about Wu Wei, this article - by Alain de Botton's The School of Life - is the one to read.
Pandora Sykes' podcast episode with Alain de Botton, of course.
Finally, Phoebe Bridgers has released her version of a Christmas album (well, four songs) and it is masterful.
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